Been wondering what to write… I no longer feel that I’m doing this because I like it… I sort of feel that I’m obligated to make a blog entry every month… Therefore its not fun anymore…. Maybe if I had access to net a lot more, or if I could find a lot more of peace, privacy and serenity than whats available right now, I could have dedicated more time for blogging… I do remember how much good I felt when thoughts came into my mind just like that….
I was watching the pics I took at the house that we were all staying at, near the college.. They are still lingering in my mind, especially the ones that were taken on the last day… We made a special dinner : Chapathi, Chicken Curry, Gulab jamuns and Chocolate Cake!! We ordered the cake and except that, everything was made by us! It was sort of a farewell party.. We have vacated the house and are day-scholars for the moment… I’m stayin with my aunt at Kottayam.. Its almost and hour from my college, and I’ve to take two buses and a train to reach college.. Its a tough job, but I’m trying to see its positive side… Except for the fact that I’ve not been able to find any till now…. Oh wait.. Thats not totally true.. I do have one…. I don’t have to be around anymore with the one person who I actually started to hate… She’s been drivng me mad for the past two years, and its like she has become my responsibility now… I don’t have to teach [read spoon-feed] her anymore, I don’t have to think about ideas and clothes for her art-plates anymore, I don’t have to worry about wtf is wrong with her when she doesn’t speak to me… Thats probably the one damn thing I’m the happiest about… I mean, wtf was that all about? Coming back from college talking all the way like best buds, and then after 2 or 3 hours at home[sleeping/taking bath], she’s just avoiding eye-contact with me.. Won’t talk to me, won’t listen to me, won’t agree with me even for things which even a rubber-band wouldn’t have a different opinion about…. And if I ask her whats wrong, she’ll say nothing’s wrong… I’m not a mind-reader, for the love of God… I stopped asking whats wrong when this ‘not talking’ thing became less surprising… And I’ve stopped assuming that its something I did.. Anyways, thank God I don’t have to spend another year with her… I cannot totally avoid her.. Coz we’re a gang of four.. We haven’t openly declared this problem, eventhough both of us know about it… Even if I bring it up, she’ll deny it.. So there’s no point.. I think I like her a little bit even now.. And the more time I spend with her, more are the chances for me to lose that liking… So isn’t it the best if we don’t live together ever again….?
9 comments
Comment by Jasim on May 23, 2007 at 10:03 PM
It’s been interesting to read your accounts of ur current life. More interesting was your account of the supposedly close-friend and room-mate with whom you’ve been at loggerheads always.
I too have had a hostel life, and friends similar. And there’ve been times when I felt like I should write something like you did. But then there were certain thoughts that stopped me from doing that, which I’m going to share with you now.
1) I degrade myself by publicly stating that I’ve been hypocritical with myself and the other person by acting like friends even though we were not really.
2) I prove that I have’nt the courage to tell him/her straight to face that I dislike her.
3) Above all these, I take the chance that the person about whom I’m discussing would either read this, or be informed about this by others, and feel extremely bad on being discussed in so bad a light so publicly. That portrays me as a sadist/a person without any moral integrity.
I didnt want these 3 things to happen to me, and so I refrained. People who read your venom against your former room-mate might think the same about you too..
I’m not being too critic, but I like your blog, I like your language, and just thought I shall leave my remark.
Take Care.
Comment by Vids on May 23, 2007 at 10:44 PM
I’m not a sadist, nor am I a person who has no moral integrity.. If u think that this blog-entry makes me all that, then so be it.. I have clearly discussed why I cannot say it to her face.. She’ll deny it.. or act aloof.. or both… I won’t even get the satisfaction of havin said that to her face, for cryin out loud!!! But I’m just askin u not to judge me by this blog-entry.. Coz u weren’t there.. And if u were and u blogged about it later, the only difference would be in the amount of profanity.. I’m sure!!
Anyways, thanks for stopping by :-)
Comment by Pradheep on June 2, 2007 at 10:07 PM
… you have to decide on if you have to stay with her or not. If you are nt able to adjust forget it. we cannot always search for some one who can change for us right. Lets be our way.. you be in your way !
Comment by Raghav on June 20, 2007 at 11:00 PM
hmm.. so this is ur new site….
guess what im going to be back at blogging soon…. hehe u dont have to miss me anymore :P
anyways.. long time no see.. wassup at ur end ??? and remember.. u still owe me a letter
Comment by sachin on July 6, 2007 at 10:41 PM
I think being in a hostel is a similitude model of the real life ( a little engineering brain coming into play )…..we’ll have to meet with different kinda people in life…..everyone differs from each other……every person is unique……and some people will be very different from the rest of society…….in malayalam we’ll call them ” ithu enthoru janmam edey..??? “….hehehe…..i feel it’s such a person who was with u in ur hostel…….and there’s one more thing thats found more in female genus more than in males…..JEALOUS…..asooya…..i think thats the root cause……hehehe…..anyways really good post…….real life blog posts are good to read…..
Comment by Vids on July 6, 2007 at 11:43 PM
thank u for the comment, pradheep. i believe tht i’ve made a good decision….. :)
@ raghav – i think i’ve told u already tht the letter is on its way.. n my new entry will be published tomorrow..
@ sachin – y does it have to be jealousy always? believe me, its just plain irritation! thank u for all ur comments in my blog :)
Comment by sachin on July 10, 2007 at 7:48 PM
nice entries yaar…and should say that ur taking a lot of risks….relatives onnum blog nokkar ille..???…:D
Comment by Ray on August 8, 2007 at 5:21 PM
Vid, very interesting write up your first blog was…just loved reading it though I know it was not a very pleasant experience for you but I love the way you have written it up.
Regards,
Ray
Comment by Vids on August 11, 2007 at 2:46 AM
@sachin – aaa.. i don’t know n i don’t care! i’m a grown-up.. i have the right to talk!!!
@Ray – thanks a lot :-)