Lately, I discovered something… I am afraid of death.. I never used to have this kind of a fear before. I was never afraid to die, nor was I afraid to hear news of death. But now, everytime I read about somebody’s death in the newspaper, everytime I see a rather emotional scene on TV, I just go numb. I can’t take any news of anybody’s death.

Its just not death, I think.. I cannot take any bad news, coming to think about it. I used to be very sensitive.. But not as sensitive as I am now…. I mean.. I did notice the change, but I never gave it a thought until I dropped a few tears over the death of Suryanarayan, the Indian engineer who got killed by terrorists recently. I have never heard of him before.. I didnt even read the news about his captivity.. I know only about the news of his death… But wasn’t it really sad? Just a thought about his wife and children and a look at their pic made me feel a lump in my throat….

Is it just a deep concern? Or is it some kind of a phobia? Necrophobia, I think, is the name given to fear of death.. Do I suffer from it? I want everyone I know to be safe and sound, so I have started this new habit of praying for all whom I know…. For the last few weeks, I was crazy enough to not pick up phone calls late at night and early in the morning in fear of getting bad news….! Luckily I have got that one out of my system!! I ain’t afraid of phone calls at night or morning anymore, but I am afraid of death still…

During the last one year, I had to witness three really unexpected deaths and I have been affected eversince… I am afraid of losing my loved ones… And I don’t want to lose anyone… Not a single person that I know… And I don’t want me to die either…. I want everyone to live…… Live forever in good health…..