Started my blog months before I joined in Assumption college for fashion technology. And by the end of final year and the beginning of my jobful years, my blog has faced some serious, shameful disregard from me. But now, a month before my classes start in the nation’s most prestigious fashion institute, National Institute of Fashion Technology (NIFT), I thought I’d repeat history by scribbling something in here!

I should be jumping up and down in joy now that I’ve got admission in NIFT for post graduation. And also for getting the 15th RANK! This is something that was beyond my dreams! It never even crossed my mind to try NIFT last year when I thought I’d settle for Pearl Academy of Fashion(PAF), the second best institute. When I changed my decision in the last minute to not go to PAF, many reasons were there, out of which, “I should try NIFT next year” was only one that I made up to convince my angry and desperate parents (read Mom!). Dad always let me live my life the way I pleased, though sometimes, especially when I refused to write the State Bank of India (SBI) exam, he talked about the “sacrilege” I had committed once by not joining PAF. After around one year of multi-colored neon arrows building up around me and pointing at me saying “FAILURE” (contributed by me and lots of others), I finally plucked up the courage to write NIFT this year. I don’t think anyone understands why I needed courage there. Many were already judging me saying, “Why are you even bothering to write? To screw it up again by discontinuing at the last minute?”. I did not react to any of it. Maybe they were joking. But it’s true that I did nothing to prepare myself for the test or interview. I had a feeling of Fate from the beginning itself, that it will work this time (or not! :D).. The first tests, General Aptitude Test(GAT) and Managerial Ability Test(MAT), were actually easy for me, and for that I thank Mom, Dad, Bro and Brilliance College at Thampanoor(Trivandrum) for their vigorous SBI clerical examination training!! hehe!!!

The second exam was in Delhi and it consisted of Group Discussion(GD) and Interview. GD was awesome for me. It was a case study and the topic was “Levi’s jeans came up with a plan to sell merchandise offering monthly EMI’s to customers during recession. Is this idea good or bad?” Well, if I were allowed, I would have fallen off the chair laughing after reading it!! But I had to maintain decorum, so I didn’t :D Monthly EMI to buy clothes and shoes? Well, Levi’s or not.. :-|

There were 10 of us (5 girls and 5 guys) in the group and 5 people in the NIFT Board that was watching us. 3 out of 10, including me, were against the idea. All the guys were coming up with good points and I remember only one girl besides me who cared to say something. A feisty one she was, but as she was brilliantly supporting Levi’s’s idea, it meant that I had to counter her! Too bad she wasn’t on my side! :P It was fun in the beginning to argue, but she kept bringing hypothetical situations in and I was losing my interest and also getting irritated when she kept beginning every sentence with “Quite contrary to what Ms. 10 (my number was 10) said, …”! It was very difficult to convince the Board, until I said something “nasty” that changed the whole situation :D I told them that if Levi’s offered me a one year EMI plan to buy a costly pair of jeans, I’m sure that even before I finish paying the EMI, the fashion would change and I can only drool at the new trendy pair of jeans in the shop, while I’ll be considered a dork if I’m still wearing the jeans that I still haven’t finished paying for :D The Board laughed! The two others who were against the idea were beaming! Ms. Feisty was rolling her eyes at me! I think I was smirking! :P And she suddenly said, “What Ms. 10 said is true, but still, maybe *insert weak comeback*”

;-)

Well, I’m not bragging! I have no idea how I managed to even breathe while 15 people listened carefully to every word that I was saying. I was inaudible in the beginning and the Board asked me to speak up! I stammered on every word later and some guy asked me to repeat what I just said (AKA talk in ‘human’, please!). And I couldn’t believe that I conjured up a big sentence like that, of which, I had only planned the first few beginning words, while the rest of the words came out of my mouth in the correct order, very audible, very clear, very ‘human’, and sensible enough to make an impact! It even had detail, coz I had emphasized the words ‘drool’ and ‘dork’ and also added a sarcastic laugh while saying ‘paying for’ in the end! :P The Board asked us one by one to say our concluding words and some guy mentioned ‘Ms. 10’s point’; such mentioning considered as self-proclaimed plus point during GD. Outside the GD room, most of them came and congratulated Ms. Feisty and Ms. 10 (er.. that’s me :D), and said that we’ll both get selected for sure, which boosted my confidence :) I congratulated Ms. Feisty too, and although I don’t remember her name now, I too think that she must have got selected too for her sheer confidence! :)

I have almost chosen Delhi as my preferred center for studying in. Until counseling is over, I can’t say anything, because, only they can tell me which center will be the best for my course, Masters in Fashion Management. But anyway, I’m not all that excited about it or feeling happy about it as much I am supposed to be now. NIFT, 15th rank.. Everyone I tell this to is actually talking about it as if it is the big deal that it actually is! But for me, something’s missing..

*sigh* How long has it been since I’ve really spent some time on my blog? It seems like I have abandoned my blog too! Lots of things have been keeping me busy.. Life is full of notifications of new comments and their replies.. I have lost touch with lots of things. First of all, I miss my friends :-(  Most of them are at different places now. Life has made me go through so much to make me realize who my friends are and who are just people I meet and can’t say I know them or vice versa. They are like the trees I see on the way during my daily commute. I see them everyday, but I don’t really know what trees they are, how long they’ve been there etc etc. They don’t know a thing about me either! I’ve yearned so much for a really close friend to whom I can say anything. But I think, as of now, it’s not possible. Life’s not so kind!! Nobody I know has one single friend who knows about all the crap that they are up to.. So I’ve gave up the thought, at least for the moment.

Neways, leaving the miseries aside, let me see whether I can come up with something cheerful. Using the blog, only whenever I’m miserable, has put a sad image to the blog in my own mind! So this time, nope, I’m not gonna come up with any of that :P

The best thing that happened to me in November was getting a new haircut! My hair had been long for two long years! I made a mistake of gettin it straightened once. It didn’t seem like a mistake then, but after a year, when my naturally wavy hair grew till my neck level, and the straight hair fell from neck to waist, it began to look bad! Or so I thought. Anyway, I got it all chopped off, so it’s back to how it looked three years back :-) I love my hair now!

Oh no! Did I say that the best thing that happened to me in November was the haircut? :-| Right!!! I forgot.. I got a new scooter, a Kinetic Mahindra Sym Flyte, of which I’m a proud owner :-) There was a lot of confusion over which scooter I should be getting.. I almost bought a 150cc scooter named UFO by Global Motors, but couldn’t even give it a chance since I was too short to ride it. :-( Even if I could manage it with one leg touching on the floor, I was worried how I’ll be handling it in traffic blocks, with a pillion rider, etc etc.. If the seat had been a tad less higher than how it is now, I’d have definitely bought it. Then, my choices were Honda Activa, Mahindra Rodeo and Mahindra Flyte. Honda was out of question once we learned that it’ll take more than four months to get the scooter delivered!! :-O Rodeo and Flyte(both 125cc) were equally good, except that, Rodeo had more features like side stand beep, backlit digital meters, mobile charger, front mudguard and finally, more colors to choose from. But it’d have taken more than a month to get it delivered, and I wasn’t sure whether I could wait that long! Since performance wise, they were the same, I went for Flyte! :P Black was the best color out of the lot, since I didn’t want the matte black panel to stand out in contrast. They said that the scooter can be delivered by evening ‘only’. I was too excited to wait till evening! :P Dad suggested that we could see a movie to kill time! And I agreed. So we went to see ‘Pazhassiraja’, while my bro backed out and said that he’ll wait at the dealership in the evening.

Tragedy struck at the movie theater! The movie was around three and a half hours long!! :-O What I hoped to end by 5 o’ clock continued till 6pm… Grr… My patience was almost lost and I was jumpy, seated as if on a trampoline, with my bro calling me every 5 min after 5:30pm, like an alarm kept on ’snooze’! :P Once we reached the dealership, I filled out the necessary forms, looked at my registration number and smiled, since it came to 13 when the digits were added!! :P BTW, my Dad also smiled, since the regn. number of the first scooter he owned also came to 13!! :P Like father, like daughter!! :P And weirdly, Mom’s first vehicle and Bro’s first vehicle have numbers, whose digits when added equals 12!! :D So we are one weird family, I guess!!! hehe!! :P Anyway, I didn’t know the customs of buying new vehicle, but bro did. He had bought two lemons and Vettila(a leaf which is chewed, out of addiction most times! Also bought in during auspicious ceremonies) I kept both lemons on the leaves, one in front of each wheel. When we ride the vehicle for the first time, it’s supposed to squeeze the lemons flat and go. Don’t ask me why!! :P Popular opinion was that I wouldn’t squeeze the lemons, but both would go either way! :-| And bro kept saying that, the vehicles that he rode for the first time has never hit anyone or anything or got hit by the same. Since he has only his bike in this so called record of unhit vehicles, I didn’t really know whether it was because he was a good rider or whether it was the ‘divinity’ crap! :-| But it’s amusing how superstitious a person can be during times like this!! :D I let him do it, though I donno whether it was actually because I didn’t want to take the risk of the shame that will come upon me for not being able to squeeze the lemons like everyone said!! :D *pishk!*The lemons lay flat on the ground, and I regained control of the scooter. My first official ride on my new Flyte followed! :-)

The odometer now shows 460km, mainly because of my daily commute to my office, which is around 13km away from home. And so far, so good :-) My only problem is that I can’t go beyond 50kmph until the scooter covers at least 2000km!!! 22 days to cover 460, which means around 25 days to cover 500km. So, another two months of dragging it around, being really patient, only cursing many morons who try to corner me or make me go off-road!

So that’s about two new things that are happening in my life :-) And the post has become even more ‘long’ that I expected :D Plus, I’m really really sleepy :D :D So this is all for now, will be back later with more.. ;

Anila, Aravind, Bindu, Cris, Srijith and I got inside the gate by 3:30pm. A little later, Sreenath joined us. We had embellished ourselves with the TIDYCITY badges[I assume that's how Aravind found us in the first place!] We got ready to start the procedure by applying Odomos, wearing gloves and distributing the sacks.

The lawns and the sand were almost clean. In my opinion, Veli was comparatively cleaner than the dirty museum premises. Most of the litter was near the food vendors and the deserted construction areas. The waste bins, although very aesthetically made, was rather useless since most people wouldn’t understand that it is, in fact, a waste-bin.

There were people from the public who inquired about our activities. We dumped the waste that was collected from the premises into the misleadingly-shaped waste-bins each time the sacks got full. We used gloves and tongs this time, which made the work easier. But the gloves needed to be removed and worn in intervals since our hands were perspiring like anything inside them. The plastic covers which we used last time, though messy, were better compared to gloves because of this one drawback.

By 4:30, we completed a great deal of the cleaning process by cleaning up to the park area. We needed some rest since there has been a lot of waste to collect and a lot of area to cover for 7 people. While we were taking rest, we discussed the next steps to take and the feedback from today’s work. Cris noted down everything that we were discussing. The discussion ended with some good suggestions for our next day’s activities, and Bindu had to go in order to attend a seminar on POTA [I presume..] as we had almost finished our day’s work. But soon, Anoop, Hari and Joshua joined us. They were in full vigor to contribute their share to TIDYCITY’s tidying efforts of the day!

The 9 of us dispersed inside the park area, which was apparently the dirtiest place inside Veli. There were ice-cream cups and covers and sticks everywhere. It needed some serious cleaning. There was a small hill which was covered with soft-drink bottles and ice-cream covers and cups. We cleaned up the whole mess while people were watching.

The beach area was the ugliest! It was pointless cleaning it up. We picked up the ice-cream covers and the big pieces of paper ad plastic waste. But what are we supposed to do about small bits of paper and wrappers that, sort of, covered the whole sand layer? Like Sreenath said, this place couldn’t be cleaned even if you used a strainer!

I don’t know much about the shopkeepers’ opinions on this. Srijith can definitely throw some light on that, so find it out in his post. All I know is that, they were unaware of the fact that plastic shouldn’t be burned and that it creates toxic matter that pollutes air when burned. But I still don’t think that they have any other solution to avoid burning plastic material or that they’ll stop burning it from today onwards. Nevertheless, the message has been spread to them, and we’ll keep doing that.

So we’ve said the magic words again today and are just waiting for the magic to begin.

First of all, the people who kept their words and came for the Orkut Meet are Sampath, Srijith, Sajith, Vivek, Cris, Drisya and me.

I got there at 2:15pm, and Srijith and Sampath were already there. :-) We went inside and Srijith told me that Sajith was already there wandering around somewhere inside! I think he had spent the whole day inside the museum premises, attending the TDF meeting in the morning and the Orkut Meet afternoon! :-P By 2:30, Vivek also came in, with his priced possession, his camera, clasped in his hands! Inseparable beings… :-P We waited there till 2:45, and starting to sense that it couldn’t go anymore beyond the 5 of us, we proceeded to the next step, i.e, Ice-creams!! :-D

When we were halfway through to the KTDC Restaurant, Srijith received a call in his mobile. It was none other than Cris! :-) So now we became a decent 6, until things got even better! Cris had bought a friend along, Drisya, or rather, Dr. Drisya! :-P Yay!! Now we were 7 in number!!!

The ice-cream session was really fun, though I think both Srijith’s and my earnestness to get the food and drinks from the counter was clear mistaken, as we were affectionately addressed as ‘Suppliers’ by the team!!! :-D Btw Sajith, Sampath and Vivek decided to be bujis and opted tea ;-) Of course, it was for other reasons that they wanted to deprive themselves of ice-creams!! We all know!! :-P There was some questionable ‘pazhampori‘ too, one for each, though us, the girls, didn’t eat any. I think there was only one remaining by the time we left.. hmm.. I think someone was really hungry!! Wonder who.. :-P Srijith?? Maybe!!!

After a second round of ice-creams, we moved to the Kanakakkunnu Ground, towards all those rides, the giant wheel, the boat etc etc.. I persuaded everyone to get into a particular ride, which I never liked for a single moment while I was in it, especially after hearing from Cris that she’s scared of such rides too!! :-P We all got in with much expectations, Vivek sitting behind me exactly like he said he would, so that he can throw up perfectly all over me!!!! :-D But the thing stopped working all of a sudden to our disappointment, especially mine, since I so wanted Cris and Drisya to go through what I had gone through the previous day!!!!! Anyway, we got the ticket back and we decided to get into the giant wheel instead. Srijith, Sampath and I were in one cage(cage? gondola? cabin? what’s it called, btw??), Vivek in the next one, and Sajith, Cris and Drisya in another one. Once the thing gained speed, I started making hysterical noises, Sampath keeping (apparently :P) cool, and Srijith, I think, was trying to dislodge the cage off the hook.. X-( Anyways, after much horrific anticipation, the wheel stopped spinning at last.. whew!!!

Well, it was almost 5pm by then. Cris and Drisya had to go somewhere, and I think Sajith had gotten tired by then. We all started saying our byes and dispersed slowly. That was an end to an amazing day of fun.. :-)

They called me on 30th morning. It was around 9:30 AM, and I was still sleeping! I’ve divided almost all my contacts in my phone into groups and has assigned ringtones for each group. So when my phone goes ‘You donno how you met me, you donno why you can’t turn around..”, most of the time, it means that some stranger is calling. I thought it was the Airtel guys, calling to ask me to pay my phone bill. But this was a landline number, so I was eager to find out who it was. I cleared my throat to seem a little less cranky and attended the call. A female voice asked me whether she is talking to Vidya Gopalakrishnan. Upon affirmation, she told me that she is calling me from an institute called ‘Figurelines’. I remember the name, my dad had gone there once to leave my resume for a lecturer’s post. I couldn’t go, since I was having my dentist’s appointment everyday, and couldn’t talk.. They told him that they’ll call me if something comes up. So I was thinking that something had come up. I listened more carefully to what she was saying.. She told me that she found my resume in her office, and asked if I was working anywhere now. I said I wasn’t, and she asked me to go to her office as soon as I can. Before hanging up, she also asked whether I was willing to work outside Trivandrum.

I jumped out from my bed after I hung up! I had to get there before 10:30 atleast, lest they think I was sleeping!! When I reached there, it took a bit of time to start the interview, since the Institute owner had gone out. The owner was a woman, who presented a warm smile as she came into the room. A little later, her husband came in too. And the talking began. I don’t remember much of the conversation, but I do remember the important parts. They told me that they are not only running a school, but also a boutique. The school provided Diploma in Fashion Design, and it was a one-year course. Some of the students chose to work in the boutique, while some of them choose to start their own. Right now, the offer that came to me was not from the school. It was from the boutique. Not their boutique, it was from one that one of their friends in Kozhikkode was starting. This friend was starting a boutique in a town called Kottakkal, between Thrissur and Kozhikode. It was a small town, but a town full of NRIs, ready to spend whatsoever it takes to buy clothes without having to go too far into the city! Ample opportunity, if you ask me! This guy, the friend needed a degree holder as their designer, and that’s how I was called upon.

I had to relocate to this town. That’s the only thing that scared me. It’s a small town after all.. And I won’t be making much money :-( But during the interview, due to an unexpected turn of events, I was offered a good pay and also, an ASSISTANT!!! :D For a fresher like me, this was absolute bliss!!! I was floating up there, somewhere, for the rest of the day!! :P God! This was my first job, I finished my course two months before, and I get to be a FASHION DESIGNER, I had to run the boutique, had my own assistant, got the best salary ever out of everyone who had studied BFT in my college!! Making good money out of something that I love!! Now that’s some achievement!!! :D

I didn’t pinch myself to see if I was dreaming, coz if I was, I didn’t wanna wake up! There are simply no words to express my endless happiness or gratitude to all my friends who’ve been praying for me, especially three of my friends, one who I asked to pray for me [her prayers work everytime, therefore I save it for special occasions! :P], another friend who I didn’t ask, but prayed for me out of pure concern :-) and another friend, who couldn’t call me on my b’day because she had no balance, so prayed to God for me instead :-)

But after I had came down from cloud nine, I began thinking about it. I mean, this all happened too easy and it’s too good to be true! Neither have I paid my dues, nor have I sacrificed anything that perfect for something like this to happen. I do believe, though faintly, in the doctrine of Karma! I don’t believe in many lives and all, but I do believe that deeds are rewarded or punished in this life itself.. Maybe I’m being stupid, but come on.. Do I deserve this? Is this some kind of a trap? Yet to see.. As of now, I’m going back to cloud nine and stay there! :P

My last post was about joblessness. All about finding my life to be so void, because I really had nothing else to do.. Well, I’ll pick-up from where I left..

I got tired sitting at home, doing nothing worthwhile and I started to feel like I was dull and stupid.. From my batch of 30 students, only 3 of them had gotten jobs, therefore, I could’ve pacified myself.. But I am the black sheep who dropped out of engineering college and went to study art..['stitching' as it's called by most people I know.. Can't understand what kind of happiness they all get by degrading it. It's one of the most upsetting things to hear, for me, it makes me wanna rip their spleen out and tear it into pieces.. But most of the times, it's the people who I love a lot that chooses to call what I study as 'stitching'.. So I've learned to control the anger, and just let it go.. or commonly known as 'what the hell'].. As I was saying, being the one who failed to stick to the modus operandi of successful livelihood, it was essential for me to get a job as quickly as possible. Ergo, I decided to go to Bangalore.

Bangalore was just a plan in my head. I wanted to go soon, very soon. I was thinking about it day and night, wondering where to stay, where to go etc.. I called up Asha, a friend, to find a place to stay and she said I could stay where she [and a number of other females] is staying as paying guest. Well, stay was my only problem, and it was solved as quickly as that. Now all I needed was the drive to travel alone to B’lore! But another friend, Neeraja, called me up to ask how things were going and whether I had got a job yet. I told her about the little B’lore dream I had in mind and Bingo! [Wow.. Never used 'bingo' before!] She was planning the same thing and was looking for a companion to go with! Before hanging up, we decided the dates, when to go and most likely, when to return! Everything happened too fast, and we were in Bangalore on Aug 11th morning.

I don’t really wanna rewind that one week in Bangalore. The job-hunt part was saddening. Two questions decided our fate in the interview.

1. Do you have experience?

2. Are you from NIFT (National Institute of Fashion Technology) ?

After saying two mournful ‘No’s, second one less audible than the first, which is also a cue to rise half-way up from the seat, it’s better to start thinking about the next company to go to. Because, ‘hmm.. Leave your resume here, we’ll call you back if something comes up” doesn’t take more time than that needed to rise rest of the way up! Experience is way overrated, if u ask me.. hmph! How will I get experience if nobody gives me a job in the first place?

It’s tough to become a designer. Really tough. My Aunt’s friend graduated from NIFT-Delhi, and had experience as a designer in Delhi, and still had to wander for 6 months before getting a job as Designer in B’lore.. That little story that Dad told me was supposed to keep me going.. But I was horrified and devastated instead!!

The other companies I went to did have vacancies, but we had to start from down below, and sounded too low for an aspiring graduate. We had never heard about any seniors who had to do the same; everybody got jobs as merchandisers [Wonder why nobody even wanted to become a designer..] I never wanted to be a merchandiser, but I was willing to become one, out of desperation. I was willing to do a mediocre job without getting paid, for like 1 or 2 months, something like training. But the kind we both were offered didn’t sound good. It was the post of a ‘Floor Supervisor’ at Provogue. Well, I don’t mind the title and it was not such a demeaning job. I know I have to do a lot of homework, pay my dues [pay heavily, because neither did I pursue a course that has a lot of possibilities, nor did I study it in a well-known institute] before I get a job that I desire. But something troubled both of us, while we were sitting inside Barista, drowning our sorrows in black coffee! We were sitting right next to the Provogue store, separated from it only by a glass panel, and observing the thriving business. The thought of having to wear a uniform did trouble us! But not enough to back out from it. But by the time we reached home, both of us decided that we’re not gonna give up and become Floor Supers so easily!

Nevertheless, with every bit of confidence drained out, we both decided to go back home and booked tickets in fair winds that blew homewards. [Ornate, I know.. But going home is always a relief for me :-) especially in that condition!] That’s the end of the B’lore saga.

I reached home on August 17th morning. I was pretty sad and very reluctant to tell bro and mom that I didn’t get any job. Dad was very supportive, he kept calling me all the time to make sure I was okay. Well, his voice was very soothing, and I was feeling okay eventually.

I utilized the days to work on my port-folio, and to learn more about photography. However, the Joblessness Monster was on loose again, and I thought I’d give it another shot. I planned to go to Bangalore again, by September 7th, but this time to the industrial area, Yashwantpur, where most of the export houses are located. I never wanted to be a merchandiser, especially not in an export house. Retail showrooms were far better, but I hate export houses and the madness enveloped within. I never wanted to be a part of that.. But desperate times call for desperate measures :-( I called Asha again and fixed the dates.

Little did I know that fate had chosen to be kind to me one more time! ;-)

To be continued…

Been a long time since I updated my blog… Was thinking of starting another blogspot account.. Lets see.. Btw.. I forgot to publish this entry in September.. So thought of adding some more stuff before publishing it…

I slept, without even caring to be excited about the next day. My internship was gonna start  later that day.. I had to be at ‘Leela Scottish Lace’ by 10:30am, and if I wanted to do that, then I would have to wake up at atleast 7:30 or 8:00.. I didn’t have my clothes ready, and I hadn’t figured out what I was gonna wear! Figuring out clothes is a pretty tough task especially on such an auspicious day!! I had to pick up something that didn’t have any disastrous events in its records! And only a fully awake me can perform intricate tasks like these.. Damn! Its almost 9 ‘o clock.. Why am I still asleep?!? And why’s no-one waking me up? Shucks I’m gonna be late.. Luckily wake-up call came in the form of my bro’s annoying voice… He was shouting at someone.. or something? I was not completely awake, so I couldn’t figure out whether it was at me, my mom or the dog.. I jumped out from the bed soon after I saw the time! And rushed to subject myself to sophistication processes.. Anyways.. by 9:45, I was presentable before people, Shalin had come, and we took around 15 mins to reach the company.. The others[Anju and Lekshmi] joined us a little later.. And we were on our way to the office..

Day 1 was unbearable for us; Anju and I hid behind the huge stack of fabrics inorder to avoid the hundreds of pairs of eyes, which scrutinized us all day.. It was the same for the others in the next two buildings.. Day 2 was better.. A girl named Asha, studying fashion designing in Bangalore, joined us in the first building. The only reason she picked this company was to stay at home for a few weeks during the internship! She was our same kind, and it did not take a long time for us to get aquainted.. well.. more than aquainted!! The five of us went out together on weekends, we shared all our good and bad memories with each other, we even shared our secrets with each other! She’s a good friend even now.. :-) Anyways, though eventful, the months of June and July and even August went just like that, which finally resulted in the re-opening of college on the 4th of September…

Since then, I’ve been pretty busy.. Work has increased, and this subject called ‘Textile Designing’ is driving me crazy!! I’ve never painted so much ever before!! I could have painted an average sized compound wall with that much time.. both front and back!!! Its been a long time since I kept that paint-brush down.. Its been a long time since I went out on weekends.. Hell! Its been a long time since I’ve even seen the city that I love! It has been only the road from Railway station to my home for almost a month… It will be the same throughout the year.. Lots n lots of work only, and no time for anything else :-( Btw.. Sports Day was on 15th.. None of us even cared to go downstairs to the ground to see what was happening!! It took Supriya Miss to give a round of cheethaparachil inorder to send all of us down! :D But once we got there, some of us got motivated enough to decide to participate! Unfortunately, we came to know that the contestants had to register a week ago… How come we didn’t know about it? :-( Anyways, we went back near the ‘Assumption Lake View’(some unclean water flowing through a channel, which thankfully didn’t smell or look bad! :D) where we could get the best view of the running race, sack race and all the other events! To me, the most impressive event was the walking race conducted for teachers. Wow, I donno how they managed to not fall walkin so fast! Anyways, there was still an event that we could register for, on the spot.. It was tug-of-war.. Desperately, I gave my name too!

Anyways… hmm.. no.. next post… :P

A long interval? Yep! A very long one indeed… Internship was from June 18th to July 14th.. But we had to be around till July 30th inorder to submit the report and to get the certificates.. Didn’t get much time during June and July to make new posts in here.. The seniors presented their ‘Design Collection 2007′ on June 17th; a grand fashion show that was held at Abad Plaza at Ernakulam. It was a really hectic day for everyone.. The grand marathon began a little earlier for me than anyone else; I had to catch the 5 am Venad Express inorder to meet my friends at Thiruvalla.. It was a cold morning and I was thankful to the jacket that I chose to wear with my skirt. From Thiruvalla, I went to Ernakulam in a beige colored Bolero – the mere memories of the death-ride never fail to terrorize me! The person who was driving it was a family friend of my friend.. He seemed to ride in a binary mode.. either 0 or 1.. either 110km/h or 40km/h… Sudden shifts from 110 to 40… Sudden turnings, sudden brakes; in fact nothing was pre-planned.. All the fluids inside my body kinda mixed up and formed the stuff that makes us puke.. Anyways, after the fun-ride, we reached Ernakulam just in time to meet the others who came by the college bus.. I don’t wanna say much about the fashion show.. It comes on TV these days, I think.. It was not as good as last year’s show, and some collections were pretty boring too.. Well, thats my opinion! I won’t advise anyone to take my word for it!!!

We didn’t have time to lose once the show was over.. We said our byes to everybody and got inside the vehicle-of-terror again.. We stopped at somewhere to have dinner, though I was not sure why, since I knew that I’m gonna throw-up minutes after I get inside that SUV.. But the return journey was not that bad.. Well I don’t know whether it was.. I was feelin really sleepy.. It’ll be around 2am when we reach Trivandrum, and I’m gonna have to wake up at 7 inorder to get ready and reach the company. After the terrible pressures of the day, I couldn’t stay awake to check whether his driving skills had improved.. I vaguely remember Lekshmi’s younger bro blabbering from behind inorder to keep us awake.. Anju was sleeping on my lap, and that kept me wedged between the chauffeur’s seat and mine, which was working like a seat-belt, saving my head from hitting on the front seat and the window, like it had happened during the morning ride!

To be continued…

Been wondering what to write… I no longer feel that I’m doing this because I like it… I sort of feel that I’m obligated to make a blog entry every month… Therefore its not fun anymore…. Maybe if I had access to net a lot more, or if I could find a lot more of peace, privacy and serenity than whats available right now, I could have dedicated more time for blogging… I do remember how much good I felt when thoughts came into my mind just like that….

I was watching the pics I took at the house that we were all staying at, near the college.. They are still lingering in my mind, especially the ones that were taken on the last day… We made a special dinner : Chapathi, Chicken Curry, Gulab jamuns and Chocolate Cake!! We ordered the cake and except that, everything was made by us! It was sort of a farewell party.. We have vacated the house and are day-scholars for the moment… I’m stayin with my aunt at Kottayam.. Its almost and hour from my college, and I’ve to take two buses and a train to reach college.. Its a tough job, but I’m trying to see its positive side… Except for the fact that I’ve not been able to find any till now…. Oh wait.. Thats not totally true.. I do have one…. I don’t have to be around anymore with the one person who I actually started to hate… She’s been drivng me mad for the past two years, and its like she has become my responsibility now… I don’t have to teach [read spoon-feed] her anymore, I don’t have to think about ideas and clothes for her art-plates anymore, I don’t have to worry about wtf is wrong with her when she doesn’t speak to me… Thats probably the one damn thing I’m the happiest about… I mean, wtf was that all about? Coming back from college talking all the way like best buds, and then after 2 or 3 hours at home[sleeping/taking bath], she’s just avoiding eye-contact with me.. Won’t talk to me, won’t listen to me, won’t agree with me even for things which even a rubber-band wouldn’t have a different opinion about…. And if I ask her whats wrong, she’ll say nothing’s wrong… I’m not a mind-reader, for the love of God… I stopped asking whats wrong when this ‘not talking’ thing became less surprising… And I’ve stopped assuming that its something I did.. Anyways, thank God I don’t have to spend another year with her… I cannot totally avoid her.. Coz we’re a gang of four.. We haven’t openly declared this problem, eventhough both of us know about it… Even if I bring it up, she’ll deny it.. So there’s no point.. I think I like her a little bit even now.. And the more time I spend with her, more are the chances for me to lose that liking… So isn’t it the best if we don’t live together ever again….?

It WAS a violent storm indeed… One of the very awaited days of my college life… November 24th… The final result of our Craft Documentation programme. More than the urge to know which group will get the ‘Best Collection’ and ‘Best Documentary’ was the urge to see the grand finale to the days of practicing… I was in charge of a few things, incl. the music for the show. Everything did not go as fine as I thought it would go… The idiotic Delhi group models were too slow on stage and their music finished even before they made the final formation before leaving stage. They had to leave without music and guys [ from SB college, i suppose ] did what they do best…. hooting, howling, whistling and screaming…… I had warned all the Delhi models in the morning that this might happen and so they’ll have to walk faster when they messed up during the stage practice… They had been doing everything great till the previous day… But once they got on stage, they screwed up… I played the next track, but it didn’t start until they all were gone..

Everything went almost fine till the last part of that day’s programme. And as usual, singing the national anthem was the last part… Oh God!! I don’t even wanna think about it!!!! It went, "Jana gana mangala dhayaka jaya he…….." "Punjab Sindh Gujarat Maratha uchchala aashish mange……… " [too bad i can't remember the rest]. Its quite possible that our senior, the girl from the third year must not have tried singing the national anthem in a long long time… So she tried fitting the words "uchchala" "mange" "aashisha" "taranga" etc into the tune, wherever she pleased, to make it appear as good and similar as the original national anthem!! Again guys did a very good job…. When she stopped in between, one of the faculty grabbed the mic and started screaming, "VINDHYA HIMACHALA YAMUNA GANGA…………." on top of her voice and made it sound much more frightful than before….. The guys were given no rest…… Yes, it was a disaster… I could sense my skin peeling off….

But these are just the icing on the cake… isn’t that the right metaphor? Anyways, what I mean to say is that, Nov 24th was the day of climax to a lot more of stuff other than the Craft Doc. It was an end to a lot of fake smiles, fake understanding, fake co-operation, fake love.. In short, an end to a fake ME.. The thing that has been bothering me for 6 months, the venom of fake friendship I’ve been having is finally over…. It feels great to be the real ‘me’ again.. Looking back and then forwarding to the present, I clearly understand the sole reason behind all the failures. The only thing I faked everything for, the one thing that I didn’t wanna mess up, its over, and all pain, no gain is my situation.. No.. I don’t wanna weigh the pros and cons now.. Its too late.. And this is not the place where I wanna do it.. Rather, I’ll think about something else… Something that went unnoticed the last year.. Something that was accidentally focussed on this year.. And something that shouldn’t be probably left unnoticed. I was talking about stopping a fake friendship before.. Let me think, if everyone were to stop every fake friendship they had, how many people will still have friends? Forget about the others, how many friends will I have? The thought is frightfully disturbing… The number of fake smiles I bring on my face everyday and the ones that are returned makes my heart skip a beat… I can feel my eyes widen while I’m thinking about it.. i know that some friends of mine are just faking it. Do they know that I’m doing it too? Then why do we keep on doing it again? I can remember lots of precious moments when I smiled and laughed with people, without having to fake it.. And I can remember lots of moments when I tried hard to bring a smile on my face during conversations. I know I hate that person. And I can figure out why. So why can’t I just be myself? Why should I fake friendship? Probably because things would be very awkward if I be myself. Its just a matter of one more year… I know that I might meet more people of those types in future.. I know I can’t go on faking it forever.. [ or can I? ] And I must learn to genuinely co-operate someday.. I am trying.. But when the others do not do so, they get on my nerves. Like a friend said, its okay to be nice, but never a doormat..