I studied again in a girls’ college for three years and still didn’t have a chance to tell at home that I know a guy without raising a question of ‘Logically, from where?’. But I did join Orkut during the time I dropped out of my engineering classes, and hence, knew a bunch of guys and girls who I’d never met for real. That’s where I met Srijith, who turned out to be different from every guy I had met till then. He didn’t hit on me, didn’t flirt with me, but only turned out to be incredibly funny and interesting. Soon we were found online in Yahoo messenger chatting *all* the time. And then, we decided to meet. This was the first time that I was meeting a guy who: Wasn’t my neighbor, Wasn’t my former classmate, Wasn’t any of my brother’s friends, (Not that I’ve met any of the afore-mentioned anywhere alone :D) Heck, it was the first time I was meeting someone alone, just me and the other person! It was a friendship turning to “something more” phase, so we were a bit shy, but anyway, we met. This was the second turning point of my life.

Days passed after the first meet-up. 8 days, to be exact, and he proposed. I didn’t even have to think for an answer, it was so obvious, and I said ‘yes’ to him. August 24th, 2005 – 2:24 AM. It was going to be a entirely new life for us both from then. My first love, and my first many other things. My third turning point in life.

In the first year of college, I stayed in the college hostel, which was my first time staying away from home. I made friends, or rather sisters, who I know will be there for each other for life. College hostel was the first place which required a *lot* of adjusting from my part. In the second year, however, my friends and I took a house for rent and shifted. I learned to COOK! :P We even made an elaborate ‘Onasadya’(feast) on that Onam (a festival), and invited our friends from hostel over. It’s not a big deal for graduation students to take a house for rent, but it is a big deal to make a big Onasadya by people who didn’t know the difference between salt and sugar by just looking at it! :P I even have an old blog-post about that in here!

Next incident I consider big is, at the end of first year of college, we have to go to any state in India and stay there for two months to study their arts and crafts. We have to form groups of five or six members, and my group had five of us. We chose to go to Haryana, and were accompanied by noone other than the five of us. It felt big because, usually students go on class trips as a whole class, with teachers accompanying them, and if in a co-ed college, the guys protecting the girls and doing all the organizing part of the trip. This, we had to do on our own. Preparing an itinerary, taking tickets, traveling, reaching Delhi, going to Haryana, exploring Haryana, studying their arts and crafts, not getting lost, not getting hurt, all on our own. It felt great, actually. That made me understand that we *are* capable of doing things like that at that age. Also, that even I am brave enough to do things like that! That’s the fourth, now.

Throughout the three academic years, we had to travel a lot; for sourcing of fabrics for the final collection, for extra study modules, etc. Traveling to any part of India wasn’t any of a big deal by then. I still can’t believe the transformation I had! One has to know who I really was in order to comprehend my feelings about it. My parents, for example. They gained enough trust and belief over me and stopped worrying so much about me, gave me lots of freedom, and started comprehending the fact that I *can* watch my back. Which was also the reason why they started believing in my decisions.

By the end of college is when I got a job and started working as a teacher in my own area of expertise. I started telling my parents about my friends from social networking, they started accepting the fact that I have guy friends, and even they started liking my friends, who often visited my home, which was kind of a new thing. It has contributed a lot to my parent’s belief over me, that I will have no secrets from them, when I still had one. :P The best part out of these friendships is that, it helped me accomplish many things that I’ve only dreamed of. Like long rides and trips to unknown places, rides in the middle of the night, a New Years eve party on my terrace till 3am, another one on another terrace which lasted all night, visits to a local pub, DJ nights etc etc. By the end of college is also the time when I had my first ever drink, that again, in style, with my Dad, celebrating my graduation :P It was just incomprehensible, the amount of transformation from a strict Dad and Mom who never approved of my mingling with guys, to one who would pour me a drink and say “Cheers”! So getting my graduation could be my sixth.

I had to wait for one and  half years in order to reach the next pitstop, which is my post-graduation. Which is, now. I would have got my post-graduatuion in Fashion Design by now, if I had joined Pearl Academy of Fashion, like I had planned to. Well, not like I had planned to, but like my parents had planned to. They just wanted me to get my post-grad, but I wasn’t ready for that yet. Anyway, I wrote the exam for them, cleared it and got a seat. But had second thoughts in the last minute and decided to wait for a year and study in the nation’s best institute rather than settle for “luck”. Life did get a bit hard after I decided not to go to Pearl, and it did remind me of my engineering drop-out days. But with just a year, I was able to get in NIFT, the National Institute of Fashion Technology, studying where has given me so many insights into so many differernt things. It has transformed the small town girl into someone much better, and someone a bit more bold, knows a hell lot of new things in the “managerial” side of life :P, and someone who has learned a bit about the art of surviving in a big city called Chennai. Truly, my seventh. And let me poudly say that this is the second birthday of mine that I’m going to spend in Chennai, away from home, away from my guy, away from dearest friends, and away from Trivandrum.

On a sunny evening, a Guy and Girl are sitting on a bench by the roadside. As we reach closer to them, we can hear what they are talking. Both of them seem to be disappointed about something.

Girl : You know what? I’m sorry.
Guy : Huh?
Girl : Yeah. Like, for the first time ever, I am really really really sorry. *smiles*
Guy : *smiles*
Girl : Yes. I am sorry that I met you. That I destroyed my life because of you. That I disrespected and disregarded everyone because of you.
Guy : *smile changes to shock*
Girl : And therefore, this is it. I want to start a life without you in it. Let us say goodbye. Let us try and not run into each other. Let this be the end. Goodbye, and good luck.
*Girl exits scene*

She has found freedom. Why does she call it freedom? Because she was in a relationship before, which called for lots of etiquettes that were to be followed, which kept her from being the person who she really is. Was it a sacrifice that she made for love? Yes, it could be called so, except she forgot the difference between love and liability a long time back. Everything worked like it was programmed, not like it came from the heart. If she couldn’t be who she wanted to be, then what was the point in being in this “love”. Doesn’t it love allow freedom? Doesn’t it allow liberty? So there, whatever it was that held her back had gone. She’s free from it’s clutches now. Is this what she wanted? No, she wanted love. But maybe she doesn’t realize what she wants, so she flew all she can with the newly-acquired wings of freedom.

It is so very difficult for almost all guys to understand that what a girl actually wants is the freedom to do something, and it’s not even likely that she is gonna do it, whatever it is. She just needs the freedom. Being told “Don’t do it” is the worst restraint that she can get, and makes her blind to the question of how less likely of her is it to do it. But guys do not realize it, mostly because, they think they need to put their foot down in order to gain control or whatever. But that kind of women happen only to a minority of men. Most women look up to their men for advice, for support and for opinion. It does not make the men any authoritative, or make their women subservient. It is only a mutual understanding, just as beautiful as a relationship between a mother and child, where one protects the other.

So let me come back to the Girl. She’s out with her friends, enjoying life the way it is supposed to be, doing the things that she wanted to do, even the things that her guy would not let her do. Honestly, she had no great intention of doing them, and she did not actually find them interesting. But she had to release herself from the ‘clutches’ that were mentioned before, and doing these things brought the buoyant little spirit of her’s back to life. She was in control of herself again. She was herself again. She thought it was gonna hurt. It did, somewhere. But the joy of getting herself back surely did help her overcome those pains. And as she started showing indifference to the Guy’s calls and messages, it became certain that she was getting over him. After all, when she thinks about how the Guy had ill-treated her, how he never deserved someone as good as her, how she survived all his mind-games and negligence, it was not very hard to be that way, to be relieved, and to begin a new life. At present, she doesn’t even know the whereabouts of this Guy.

As I can’t narrate what kind of issues she was facing in the relationship as it will be a good breach of privacy, I cannot throw light on how happy one should obviously be for the Girl. But everybody she knew was happy and relieved for her. Was I feeling the same? Well, I believe in happy endings and wanted the guy and girl to patch up, talk openly and work on their relationship, since I believe it’s only them who can understand the way they could stand each other! ;) But who cares what I think. She was a poor victim of extreme ego, extreme smothering, and extreme male-chauvinism. Probably, it was a good thing that she left him. They are on their separate ways now, and things are working out quite well for the Girl, even on the romance curve. :-)

The End?

But wait. This story has two sides. We know that the Girl escaped from the Guy, and that she’s doing well somewhere. But what about the guy? What happens to him? Who will tell his story? Who will want to listen to his story? He’s the outcast here, right? A deserving, yet poor victim of a displeasing fate. For better analysis, let’s rewind to the past a bit. [Note: This is not recommended in real life.]

Girl : Yes. I am sorry that I met you. That I destroyed my life because of you. That I disrespected and disregarded everyone because of you.
Guy : *smile changes to shock*
Girl : And therefore, this is it. I want to start a life without you in it. Let us say goodbye. Let us try and not run into each other. Let this be the end. Goodbye, and good luck.
*Girl exits scene*

Guy continued to sit on the bench for some time, not turning up his head to see her walking away. He did not want to see her walking away. Neither could he accept the fact that he just got ‘dumped’. He got up, started walking in the opposite direction, symbolically, still not able to control his mixed feeling of outrage and sadness at being dumped. If at all he had done it, he wouldn’t have been this unhappy. And he failed to understand why he was unable to say something back at her at that time. All this was a major-ego bash to him.

[Narrator's intervention : Well, it does seem like the guy is a jerk. But I'm not writing a fictional story, and this is not an allegation either. These were his original thoughts, since it's the guy who is my friend, and whatever I wrote about the girl is just what that was described to me.]

He deleted her number and messages from his phone, took her off Facebook and Gtalk, put his status as ‘single’ and ‘interested in women’, changed his bio and all to adapt to the new changes, went out for drinks with friends and smoked up. Seven days. That’s all that he could do without her. That too, counting the days as they passed by. He called her after those terribly long seven days. Of course, the number-erasing part was only symbolic, since he knew her number by-heart. Her phone kept ringing but noone pickep up. He continued this for another seven days. He even called her friends who also gave the same response. The frequency of calls had started diminishing day by day, until it finally came to a stop. He decided, or rather, realized that she had actually meant what she said the other day. And that it’s up to him to do something now.

The something that he had to do included a lot of things that may help him get over her, since it was not an easy job for him to forget her. All this time, he was under the assumption that it was she who was dependent on her. But no, it turns out that it was the other way round. If he ever had become an extrovert, if his confidence to deal with challenges in life had increased, if he had achieved any of his goals, it was all because of her. To impress her. To make him worthy of her. Maybe he knew it all these years, and wasn’t ready to accept it. Or maybe he just didn’t realize it. Either way, he had to realize it now. Isn’t it ironic how everything fall into place just when time runs out?

He doesn’t remember her number now. Not even her face. I don’t know how someone can actually forget the face of his/her first love. But he really does not remember it. Shallow and short-term relationships have started playing their part so well in his life. And though he says that he’s not looking for anything serious, and that he wants nothing more than to be sold off in the arranged-marriage market to the highest bidder, I can see that he still wants to be loved, not by someone special to him, but by someone to whom he’ll be special. Perhaps, very very very very very secretly, by her.

:-)

Love is not pain. Only the absence of love is pain. And it’s up to each one of us to decide it’s presence and absence. Who can we blame for a broken relationship? How can anyone say it’s one person’s fault? It takes a little bit of understanding from both sides to put a relationship on track, up and running. Don’t wait for a cue. This is not a chance to be the bigger person. Nor the better person. It’s a chance to succumb to love. To delve deep into love.

I must get this. I really must. I don’t care how old I become when I will really be able to achieve this, but yes, it will be an achievment. My achievement. Something that I can say is mine, and will be, without anybody questioning it, or without any kind of uncertainty hovering over it. I am not materialistic. I don’t crave for material possessions, except that which kindles the spirit of certain human-relationships. This apartment, which I’d like to call a ‘home’, my home, is where my soul will be, and where my heart can be, just as safely as it had been in the place which I call ‘home’ now, the place where I grew up, took my first steps, and got moulded into who I am now.

Is it too deep a feeling to be showered over a concrete enclosure that’s, probably, yet to be built? I don’t know. My feelings are pretty strong for the things/people that/who I really want. But my only fear is, I am prone to finding solitude. Often when I am unable to cope up with the blatant realities of life. It includes blunt and petty trivialties of every day life, like maybe the short absence of someone, inadvertent negligence, a slight change in the pattern of things that I deal with day-to-day, etc. etc. to unfair and non-petty things like death and other severe losses. I draw myself back into a shell when these happen, just to be safe from the wilderness out there that’s way too incomprehensible to me. If I live alone, who will bring me out of it other than I? I don’t know if I am cut out to take that kind of control over myself.

But then, my dream, the apartment, the privacy, the cooking, the cleaning.. All of these look at me longingly, with puppy-eyes! :P hehe! Maybe I am underestimating me a bit here. Maybe I am capable of doing greater things than I think I can or can’t. Well, how will I ever know if I don’t try? ;)

Yes, I do try and not let people affect me. I used to be super-friendly and all, but after a few lessons which I learned the hard way, I found myself encapsulated in a very small world, away from all the hype that which people call ‘Social Networking’, which I could understand only as a way to acquaint with someone on a higher social stata by patronizing them. But then, not being able to bear the monotony of it all, which had started taunting me, I came back. It was also an escape from reality, comparing to which, the severity of the patronizing et all where so much more lesser. Maybe there’s a side of everyone which you shouldn’t come to know in order to like them.

I don’t know whether I’ll have those moments again. Or whether my aloofness has gone from bad to worse with the recent voidness that has engulfed me. People think that my life is all planned out. Personally, I think these are the people who have no clue about anything that’s going on in my life or doesn’t actually give a damn about it. Those who know me.. well, and those who knew me, only they see the gazillion question marks in my life. And that is the reason why time spent with them becomes the best time of my life. Because I don’t have to cheat on myself or pretend that I have no uncertainties in life, while I am worrying myself to death deep inside.

Uncertainty… I love that word.

Now, what exactly is happening here? Especially in long-distance relationships? I have a long-distance relationship with my guy, and I’ve never felt the need of infidelity to survive the physical distance from love. But I have witnessed a lot of failed relationships, failing relationships; all because of distance! And I have more experience seeing what girls are doing in this case. But this doesn’t mean that it’s only girls who do it! On that note, let me begin probing deep into what’s happening here.

Suppose there’s this girl and guy who used to be happily in love with each other, and the guy or girl had to go away for some reason, maybe for studies or for job. Let’s say that the girl went away, because it’s the girl’s side that I am talking about, and also, I think that neither of them would have the guts to cheat in their own turf. So, the girl is in a new city, all alone and all on her own. She’ll surely miss the good times that she had back home, or wherever she was, being the princess to her guy, getting all the attention that she wants. And the sudden absence of that person and the privileges and the sudden being nobody stage all lights up loneliness and sadness.

In order to escape from this loneliness, while most girls turn to friends, merriment, fun or a hobby, some girls take it a step further, resulting in a “local” boyfriend_like_person. This person is the acting boyfriend, who is tagged as her closest friend so that if they lightly hug in public or if he has his hands around her, no one misunderstands. He is also the one who is with her all the time, goes shopping with her, goes to the movies with her, holds her hand while walking, eats with her, waits around for her, and eventually ends up spending time with her in his home.

In spite of having to devote a portion of her time to her acting boyfriend, she never fails to catch up with her socially accepted boyfriend. Late night phone calls, video chats, gifts being sent for his birthday and on Valentine’s day, gifts being received on the afore-mentioned days, observing this (ridiculous) fasting thing for his good health, sending huge cards the size of a newspaper to say she that misses him, receiving equally huge sized “I miss you too”, etc. etc. I mean, I have heard that people who buy huge cars and build huge houses are making up for.. *ahem*.. Anyway, I doubt if these overmuch expressions of “love” (OK, no more judging!) are just done out of guilt, or whether they are that insensitive to realize what kind of whor.. er.. promiscuous people they are.

Most of the time, the boy could be single, or sometimes a playboy, or someone who is equally cheating on his girl too. The playboy and the cheater are comprehendible. The behavior, I mean. They are expected to do so. But then, what about the single boy? Why does he do it? Well, wait.. Why does anyone for that matter, have the need to tear a relationship apart instead of putting some sense to her head? Rhetoric question! I’ll ask a much more valid question then. Why can’t she end things with the other guy if she doesn’t find the relationship to be worthy enough to maintain the sanctity of it for? What exactly goes through her mind while she’s juggling two (plus) guys to consummate her love life? I mean, I see a lot of these people around me now since the culture has changed along with the environment. Am I allowed to go up to them and ask about this when they think that I don’t know a thing about it? And even if they know that I do, they can always cut me off with “Don’t you know that I am miserably committed to my XYZ from the core of my little black heart? How can you even think of such a thing! Oh my Gawwd!”

Pitiful!

There’s only one reason that I can think of, as to why I am so sad and moody all the time.

First of all, I think I made a terrible mistake by joining this course in NIFT. At first, it was the NIFT name that kept me going. But now, I’m getting a little more clarity and has started realizing that this is not what I actually wanted. When I joined for Fashion Technology for graduation after dropping out of engineering college, I gave up a prospective better paying job in order to follow my heart. But when I joined for this course now, I stopped this teaching job that, though paid less, was something I was passionate about. I wanted a better paying job this time. I used to hate merchandising and similar fields of work, and wanted to stay in designing itself. But the other one had more chances of employment and pay, hence I made up my mind to pursue it. I don’t know when money became a part of my dreams. And this does not make me happy. This tunnel that I’m in, is starting to look like the same tunnel that I was in during my engineering days! The only difference is that, engineering was imposed on me, whereas this was my own wish! I cannot complain.. I’m still looking for the light at the end, hoping that I won’t be run down by a train!

Neways, leaving the miseries aside, let me see whether I can come up with something cheerful. Using the blog, only whenever I’m miserable, has put a sad image to the blog in my own mind! So this time, nope, I’m not gonna come up with any of that :P

The best thing that happened to me in November was getting a new haircut! My hair had been long for two long years! I made a mistake of gettin it straightened once. It didn’t seem like a mistake then, but after a year, when my naturally wavy hair grew till my neck level, and the straight hair fell from neck to waist, it began to look bad! Or so I thought. Anyway, I got it all chopped off, so it’s back to how it looked three years back :-) I love my hair now!

Oh no! Did I say that the best thing that happened to me in November was the haircut? :-| Right!!! I forgot.. I got a new scooter, a Kinetic Mahindra Sym Flyte, of which I’m a proud owner :-) There was a lot of confusion over which scooter I should be getting.. I almost bought a 150cc scooter named UFO by Global Motors, but couldn’t even give it a chance since I was too short to ride it. :-( Even if I could manage it with one leg touching on the floor, I was worried how I’ll be handling it in traffic blocks, with a pillion rider, etc etc.. If the seat had been a tad less higher than how it is now, I’d have definitely bought it. Then, my choices were Honda Activa, Mahindra Rodeo and Mahindra Flyte. Honda was out of question once we learned that it’ll take more than four months to get the scooter delivered!! :-O Rodeo and Flyte(both 125cc) were equally good, except that, Rodeo had more features like side stand beep, backlit digital meters, mobile charger, front mudguard and finally, more colors to choose from. But it’d have taken more than a month to get it delivered, and I wasn’t sure whether I could wait that long! Since performance wise, they were the same, I went for Flyte! :P Black was the best color out of the lot, since I didn’t want the matte black panel to stand out in contrast. They said that the scooter can be delivered by evening ‘only’. I was too excited to wait till evening! :P Dad suggested that we could see a movie to kill time! And I agreed. So we went to see ‘Pazhassiraja’, while my bro backed out and said that he’ll wait at the dealership in the evening.

Tragedy struck at the movie theater! The movie was around three and a half hours long!! :-O What I hoped to end by 5 o’ clock continued till 6pm… Grr… My patience was almost lost and I was jumpy, seated as if on a trampoline, with my bro calling me every 5 min after 5:30pm, like an alarm kept on ‘snooze’! :P Once we reached the dealership, I filled out the necessary forms, looked at my registration number and smiled, since it came to 13 when the digits were added!! :P BTW, my Dad also smiled, since the regn. number of the first scooter he owned also came to 13!! :P Like father, like daughter!! :P And weirdly, Mom’s first vehicle and Bro’s first vehicle have numbers, whose digits when added equals 12!! :D So we are one weird family, I guess!!! hehe!! :P Anyway, I didn’t know the customs of buying new vehicle, but bro did. He had bought two lemons and Vettila(a leaf which is chewed, out of addiction most times! Also bought in during auspicious ceremonies) I kept both lemons on the leaves, one in front of each wheel. When we ride the vehicle for the first time, it’s supposed to squeeze the lemons flat and go. Don’t ask me why!! :P Popular opinion was that I wouldn’t squeeze the lemons, but both would go either way! :-| And bro kept saying that, the vehicles that he rode for the first time has never hit anyone or anything or got hit by the same. Since he has only his bike in this so called record of unhit vehicles, I didn’t really know whether it was because he was a good rider or whether it was the ‘divinity’ crap! :-| But it’s amusing how superstitious a person can be during times like this!! :D I let him do it, though I donno whether it was actually because I didn’t want to take the risk of the shame that will come upon me for not being able to squeeze the lemons like everyone said!! :D *pishk!*The lemons lay flat on the ground, and I regained control of the scooter. My first official ride on my new Flyte followed! :-)

The odometer now shows 460km, mainly because of my daily commute to my office, which is around 13km away from home. And so far, so good :-) My only problem is that I can’t go beyond 50kmph until the scooter covers at least 2000km!!! 22 days to cover 460, which means around 25 days to cover 500km. So, another two months of dragging it around, being really patient, only cursing many morons who try to corner me or make me go off-road!

So that’s about two new things that are happening in my life :-) And the post has become even more ‘long’ that I expected :D Plus, I’m really really sleepy :D :D So this is all for now, will be back later with more.. ;

I have searched all my life…

Thought many a time that I got it..

Still, life’s playing games with me and I’ve never really got it. Have I almost got it and let it go without realizing that, that was “it”? Nope, never. If I’d know, I’ll know.

What is “it”? I can’t describe what it is… It is a state of mind, probably. Have you ever been figured out completely by some person? Has someone behaved exacly the way you want someone to behave? For me, I’d like to know what it’d be like. To feel the bliss or whatever that comes out of it.

What is my problem? Well… Why is it that nobody gets me? Everybody takes me up to the crest then at some point of time, pushes me back down. I’ve never crossed over(not that way!) to see the other side. Means, they’ll do all the right things at first, and then shatters all the (mis)conceptions that you had of them!

Still, there are people who’re lucky enough to find other people who can read their minds like an open book! If I am jealous of anyone in the world, it is them! I am on a crusade to find that person(s) , whoever he/she is and I’m gonna get that “it” too, though the journey is tiresome!

P.S: I thought that I was a practical person, who lived by what my mind told me. But this proves that I’m not one, at least not all the time…

Well… My life is certainly a mess right now. Especially my career. I deviated into the area of my choice and still ended up with a job that sucks! LOL!! How in the world did I manage to do that???

My job sucks. Really.

Is it too hard to find the right job? Or atleast something that’s just not vaguely related to the field I want? Am I asking for too much here?

I send my resume to every part of the country and still do not get a single reply from anyone. I am tired, fed up and unhappy all the time.

I don’t think that I have been this unhappy for this long ever! Been five months of toil now and I feel as unsure of this job as I was on the day I joined.

Post graduation is another option for me. But I don’t know what I wanna post-graduate in, so I am giving myself some time to figure that out before making wrong choices.

I just wonder how much longer I have to put up with this before I flip out completely or get a good job! I mean, I spoke angrily to my manager the other day. Maybe I’ll get fired before I flip out! LOL!!!

Vids: yep!! good old school days!!

Vids: 8->

Friend: and college was totally different :)

Vids: i like school days better, though…

Vids: enthannariyilla… [Donno why..]

Vids: oru unity undayirunnathe pole… [Like there was some kind of a unity..]

Friend: enikku nere thiricha :D [For me, it's the opposite]

Friend: i made better friends at college :-?

Vids: hehe!! ente ippolathe close buds school pals ane!! :P [My close pals are still the ones from school!]

Vids: college-il ake oraal ane real close… baaki ellam shallow.. [I have only one close friend from college.. Rest all are shallow..]

Vids: athentha? [Why so?]

Vids: u studied there for 12 yrs rt?

Friend: no no….5 years in one class, next year in another, next 2 in another

Vids: eh??

Vids: vere school? [another school?]

Friend: +2 *name_of_school* :D

Friend: till 4 th *name_of_school* :D

Vids: hmm… so u studied longer in engg coll

Vids: mebbe that’s y

Friend: yeah kinda :)

Friend: school friends kept changing

Vids: hmm..

Vids: i studied in my school for 12 long years

Vids: :)

Vids: u can imagine the depth of friendship i had with my school pals

Friend: yep !! :)

Friend: 12 years is a loooooong time :)

Vids: more than a decade :o

Vids: wow!! i realized that only now!!!

Friend: hehe :D

Friend: yes ~! one decade of same set of friends :)

Vids: oh my god!!!

Vids: i am gonna blog about this!! :D

Friend: ;)

Friend: go ahead ;)

Vids: thanks!! :P

I realized only last night that I’ve known my close buds for over ten years!! I mean, it’s really astonishing to realize that some of the people I talk to today came into my life more than ten years back, considering I’m only 22 now! How many people have been there in my life for more than ten years? Besides parents, bro and relatives, of course.. hmm..

My neighbors.. They’ve known me for twenty one years so far, I think! My first year was spent at the rented house we had, which I have no memory of living in.. Anyway, in this neighborhood, I was the only girl; the other houses were populated with a father, mother and two sons. So I was pampered a lot, obviously, by the mommies of all these sons! I remember something funny that I used to do when I was small. Every time I bought a new dress, hair-clip, bangle or whatsoever fancy, I used to take a trip to all these houses to show it off! Thankfully, I don’t do that now!!! :D Anyway, one more female member joined us some time later; she was the eldest and most respectable one out of the lot! We were a battalion of eleven, two girls and nine guys, in which two of them were younger than me, one guy of my same age and six of them older than me. I remember all the Deepawalis, Onams, Vishus and Karthikas that were spent together. It was one hell of a bonding :-) It does feel like a two decade long relationship…

My school-van-driver.. hmm.. Not really a decade, but nine years is long enough. His name is Madhu, maybe over 55 years old when I was in tenth standard. He was not actually the driver, he was the owner. The driver was another guy. Madhu Uncle used to sit inside to take care of the kids to see that all of us behave properly inside the van! I remember only a few things about him though. He had a beard which was longer than usual; some of the hairs gone grey. His voice when raised, scared the hell out of quarreling, noisy children!! There were some kids who behaved properly all the time, at whom he never yelled. I was one of them! [I used to be a quiet girl till tenth standard] I was the first person to get into the Mahindra van named ‘Kannan Travels‘ every morning, mine being the first stop. This means I get to sit wherever I please to sit every morning! Sometimes, I used to walk to the place where the van was parked, and get inside rightaway to avoid standing and waiting at the stop. Everyday, at sharp 7:45 AM, the driver will start the van and my journey to school thus begins! For almost half an hour, Madhu Uncle will be chanting prayers and that time, only devotional songs will be played inside the van. He used to keep a couple of pictures of Hindu Gods on the dashboard, light incense, and hang a small garland of fresh jasmine flowers on the pictures. He goes to Sabarimala every year, and that’s the time all the children used to monkey around in the van, unable to be controlled by the substitute! The last time I saw him was two years back near my school. After a few minutes of chit-chatting [because he had a van full of kids to be dropped at their respective homes!], well after chit-chatting, I must have gone where I was going. I don’t remember. Anyway, I don’t know where he is now or what he is doing either. But that’s a person who I’ve talked to, almost everyday for nearly a decade!

My friends from school.. My close buddies from school, they are the ones who I still hang out with. And I can’t believe that I’ve been knowing them for ten whole years, well, actually sixteen years! I remember my first day in school. I joined a little late in first standard, only in the second term. I had a bad leg accident a few days before the class started. My bro’s friend was riding the cycle, me sitting in front, on the bar on which the cycle’s seat is fixed. My foot was caught between the cycle’s spokes. That did a lot of damage to my foot, me being a small five year old kid. It took a lot of time to heal, leaving a scar that’s visible even now! I couldn’t walk for a long time and I had to stay away from school even without attending the first official day! My first day was the first day of the second term. My class teacher, Ms. Gladys, made me sit on the second bench, out of consideration [:-|] with a girl named Rekha, whose pink plastic earrings I still remember!! I don’t know whether it was the big plastic earrings or the neatly brown-paper-bound and plastic laminated books that made me uneasy. Well, I think the primary reason was that she kept stamping my wound which had not healed yet. On complaining [I was a small kid, forgive me!], Gladys Teacher moved me to the back bench where only a girl and a boy were sitting. Gladys Teacher also asked the girl to help me catch up with my studies. So, the first girl I talked to in first standard was Minu. [I remember the boy, Thomas, who was sitting in between us! We soon chucked him out to the end of the bench, for Minu and me to sit together!] We still call each other up, hang out together, and she never forgets to wish me on my b’day! I studied for twelve years with her, and then two more years at college. She became my senior in college as I joined a year late! She was the only familiar face for a while, until I made some new friends from my batch. Was that history repeating or something? :P Another great friend who I met in school is Maria, one of my best friends, who gives me advices that actually work! The good thing about such a long friendship is that, even if we don’t call each other up frequently [maybe only thrice a month or even less], every time that ‘hello’ is heard over the phone, I feel a certain comfort and warmth, and never feel that we’ve not talked for that long! I find my true comfort level only with a few people, and these great ones I found in school are some of them. Everyone from my batch, during the learning phase of our lives must have built up a common wavelength or something, which got only better with time and that too, a whopping twelve years! When I talk to Maria or any of the others, I do not feel that we were talking everyday for over a decade, and kept talking with the same fervor even after school. I feel like I’ve known them ever since the day I was born! If all the talking were represented by a line, I would neither see the beginning of it, since time has effaced it as it grew, nor the end, since we are never gonna fall away! I’m not gonna say how many times that line would circle the earth, since that line’s tacky(-ier.. hehe!)!!

I had to sit with this blog entry for a long time. I intented only to mention the astonishingly interesting discovery and realization of a decade of friendship. I never thought that it would turn out to be a probe into my life instead! I had to clear out a lot that I wrote, since it was just too many details! I’ve said what I needed to say. Gonna keep the rest to myself! ;-)