[This excerpt is from a true incident that happened to a friend of mine, which I am writing with permission.]
On a sunny evening, a Guy and Girl are sitting on a bench by the roadside. As we reach closer to them, we can hear what they are talking. Both of them seem to be disappointed about something.
Girl : You know what? I’m sorry.
Guy : Huh?
Girl : Yeah. Like, for the first time ever, I am really really really sorry. *smiles*
Guy : *smiles*
Girl : Yes. I am sorry that I met you. That I destroyed my life because of you. That I disrespected and disregarded everyone because of you.
Guy : *smile changes to shock*
Girl : And therefore, this is it. I want to start a life without you in it. Let us say goodbye. Let us try and not run into each other. Let this be the end. Goodbye, and good luck.
*Girl exits scene*
She has found freedom. Why does she call it freedom? Because she was in a relationship before, which called for lots of etiquettes that were to be followed, which kept her from being the person who she really is. Was it a sacrifice that she made for love? Yes, it could be called so, except she forgot the difference between love and liability a long time back. Everything worked like it was programmed, not like it came from the heart. If she couldn’t be who she wanted to be, then what was the point in being in this “love”. Doesn’t it love allow freedom? Doesn’t it allow liberty? So there, whatever it was that held her back had gone. She’s free from it’s clutches now. Is this what she wanted? No, she wanted love. But maybe she doesn’t realize what she wants, so she flew all she can with the newly-acquired wings of freedom.
It is so very difficult for almost all guys to understand that what a girl actually wants is the freedom to do something, and it’s not even likely that she is gonna do it, whatever it is. She just needs the freedom. Being told “Don’t do it” is the worst restraint that she can get, and makes her blind to the question of how less likely of her is it to do it. But guys do not realize it, mostly because, they think they need to put their foot down in order to gain control or whatever. But that kind of women happen only to a minority of men. Most women look up to their men for advice, for support and for opinion. It does not make the men any authoritative, or make their women subservient. It is only a mutual understanding, just as beautiful as a relationship between a mother and child, where one protects the other.
So let me come back to the Girl. She’s out with her friends, enjoying life the way it is supposed to be, doing the things that she wanted to do, even the things that her guy would not let her do. Honestly, she had no great intention of doing them, and she did not actually find them interesting. But she had to release herself from the ‘clutches’ that were mentioned before, and doing these things brought the buoyant little spirit of her’s back to life. She was in control of herself again. She was herself again. She thought it was gonna hurt. It did, somewhere. But the joy of getting herself back surely did help her overcome those pains. And as she started showing indifference to the Guy’s calls and messages, it became certain that she was getting over him. After all, when she thinks about how the Guy had ill-treated her, how he never deserved someone as good as her, how she survived all his mind-games and negligence, it was not very hard to be that way, to be relieved, and to begin a new life. At present, she doesn’t even know the whereabouts of this Guy.
As I can’t narrate what kind of issues she was facing in the relationship as it will be a good breach of privacy, I cannot throw light on how happy one should obviously be for the Girl. But everybody she knew was happy and relieved for her. Was I feeling the same? Well, I believe in happy endings and wanted the guy and girl to patch up, talk openly and work on their relationship, since I believe it’s only them who can understand the way they could stand each other! ;) But who cares what I think. She was a poor victim of extreme ego, extreme smothering, and extreme male-chauvinism. Probably, it was a good thing that she left him. They are on their separate ways now, and things are working out quite well for the Girl, even on the romance curve. :-)
The End?
But wait. This story has two sides. We know that the Girl escaped from the Guy, and that she’s doing well somewhere. But what about the guy? What happens to him? Who will tell his story? Who will want to listen to his story? He’s the outcast here, right? A deserving, yet poor victim of a displeasing fate. For better analysis, let’s rewind to the past a bit. [Note: This is not recommended in real life.]
Girl : Yes. I am sorry that I met you. That I destroyed my life because of you. That I disrespected and disregarded everyone because of you.
Guy : *smile changes to shock*
Girl : And therefore, this is it. I want to start a life without you in it. Let us say goodbye. Let us try and not run into each other. Let this be the end. Goodbye, and good luck.
*Girl exits scene*
Guy continued to sit on the bench for some time, not turning up his head to see her walking away. He did not want to see her walking away. Neither could he accept the fact that he just got ‘dumped’. He got up, started walking in the opposite direction, symbolically, still not able to control his mixed feeling of outrage and sadness at being dumped. If at all he had done it, he wouldn’t have been this unhappy. And he failed to understand why he was unable to say something back at her at that time. All this was a major-ego bash to him.
[Narrator's intervention : Well, it does seem like the guy is a jerk. But I'm not writing a fictional story, and this is not an allegation either. These were his original thoughts, since it's the guy who is my friend, and whatever I wrote about the girl is just what that was described to me.]
He deleted her number and messages from his phone, took her off Facebook and Gtalk, put his status as ‘single’ and ‘interested in women’, changed his bio and all to adapt to the new changes, went out for drinks with friends and smoked up. Seven days. That’s all that he could do without her. That too, counting the days as they passed by. He called her after those terribly long seven days. Of course, the number-erasing part was only symbolic, since he knew her number by-heart. Her phone kept ringing but noone pickep up. He continued this for another seven days. He even called her friends who also gave the same response. The frequency of calls had started diminishing day by day, until it finally came to a stop. He decided, or rather, realized that she had actually meant what she said the other day. And that it’s up to him to do something now.
The something that he had to do included a lot of things that may help him get over her, since it was not an easy job for him to forget her. All this time, he was under the assumption that it was she who was dependent on her. But no, it turns out that it was the other way round. If he ever had become an extrovert, if his confidence to deal with challenges in life had increased, if he had achieved any of his goals, it was all because of her. To impress her. To make him worthy of her. Maybe he knew it all these years, and wasn’t ready to accept it. Or maybe he just didn’t realize it. Either way, he had to realize it now. Isn’t it ironic how everything fall into place just when time runs out?
He doesn’t remember her number now. Not even her face. I don’t know how someone can actually forget the face of his/her first love. But he really does not remember it. Shallow and short-term relationships have started playing their part so well in his life. And though he says that he’s not looking for anything serious, and that he wants nothing more than to be sold off in the arranged-marriage market to the highest bidder, I can see that he still wants to be loved, not by someone special to him, but by someone to whom he’ll be special. Perhaps, very very very very very secretly, by her.
:-)
Love is not pain. Only the absence of love is pain. And it’s up to each one of us to decide it’s presence and absence. Who can we blame for a broken relationship? How can anyone say it’s one person’s fault? It takes a little bit of understanding from both sides to put a relationship on track, up and running. Don’t wait for a cue. This is not a chance to be the bigger person. Nor the better person. It’s a chance to succumb to love. To delve deep into love.