98% of marriages in India are arranged.. Not true? Maybe not.. I didn’t do a research or anything on it… But I think that 98% of marriages in India are arranged..
Why? Because, people in India are bought up that way.. Simple! We Indians have great respect for our parents.. Especially moms.. [who carried us painfully for 9 months..] I’ve heard from a friend of mine, who’s grandma who dared to say this cliched pregnancy-debt fact to her son, was taken aback when he asked her to jump into a sack, so that he can carry her around for 9 months, by which this debt-talk can be avoided forever…
Dare I say that parents in India are self-centered.. to have bought up their kids as loyal servants who carry out duties that have been set forth by their parents, living life the way parents want them to live.. Of course, it’s always the most practical way to live life… But not always how the insignificant “you” wanna do it…
I’ve had this talk with my friends a lot of times… The plot was, they meet the love of their life.. Indulges in a three year long meaningful relationship.. by which time, they can see each other as a married couple.. But things don’t go their way at home.. Parents don’t want them to marry that person, because of their cast/religion/blah-blah..
What will they do?
Try to make themselves and their parents understand that ‘this is the love of my life, the person who I’ve known like Einstein knew physics, who’s like an open book to me, who’s moodswings I know about, who’s silence does not need an explanation, who I can always live with, and most importantly, who I cannot live without..’
Or will they take a decision to forget all that, instead, think about ‘not letting our parents down after they’ve taken care of us so far, providing us shelter, feeding us, taking care of us, paying our school fees, college fees, current bill, water bill, mobile bill and all other monetary involvements taken care of, again that 9-months debt, shoot them into the higher social strata of our society by marrying a smaller version of Anil Ambani[no Reliance, only the bank balance], or at least remain in the same stratum by not marrying a bus conductor [or kili!! :-D], how we don’t want our own kids to behave this way later [Too late! Indian parenting traits have been successfully acquired and uploaded!!], how parents are always right and wants the best for us [which is true, but regarding truth, sadly, for each, his own..], etc etc”?
Which way will they go?
Most of them are willing to take the second option, that is to forget everything, and obey their parents.. [These are the ones who believe that ultimate love only means supreme sacrifice.. Their 'happily ever after' is pretty simple..]
And there were some who said that they won’t marry either ones, they’ll just “diplomatically” stay single forever [I failed to see the diplomacy really.. They're pretty much hurting their parents either way. These are saddists who don't want anybody to be happy, not even themselves..]
A few of them replied that it’s the responsibility of parents all over the world to do whatever that has been discussed in option number 2.. They said that when they are gonna have kids of their own, they are never gonna raise them inside this bubble of ambitions and dreams, which never has place for the kid’s own, or expecting favors in return for raising them and for fulfilling their basic needs. These are the ones who said that love is the essence of life, which is beyond all crap [classifications based on religion, caste and all that]… Its like, “I’ll never let go of you, come what may…”
But, this is not what I wanted to talk about! There is another group of people, who take both options into consideration, who wanna fall in love, who have acquired the Indian traits successfully, believe that parents expecting their off-springs to not let them down is perfectly alright [and its the second birth-right after 'Swaraj'..] They are the ones who really know a thing or two about diplomacy!
For example.. A middle class Hindu Nair boy, an engineering student, will search for a Hindu Nair girl doing some degree [mostly irrelevant] and fall in love with her.. She, on finding out that he’s an engg student [means food on the table 3 times a day in future], as well as a Hindu Nair [which means, Mom n Dad are gonna be so happy and proud about me!] will start reciprocating his love!!! Likewise, a Roman Catholic Boy will fall in love with a Roman Catholic Girl only.. If a colleague who they talked to a lot yesterday, or meets at the ATM regularly, who they are interested in, turns out to be from a different community [for cryin out loud], they’ll never feel the same way about him/her again… Because, one of the many unique Indian traits they have successfully acquired is to be a walking marriage bureau themselves!! ;-) And if the colleague in question is indeed from the same community, ‘love happens’!! And when they get married one day, they’ll say that it was an arranged love marriage.. But thats not right, it was an arranged marriage alone.. Maybe an arranged arranged marriage.. The walking marriage bureau that you are, arranged it once, your parents arranged it again..
So wasn’t I atleast somewhat right when I said in the beginning that 98% of marriages in India are arranged? ;))
Source of inspiration : ‘For Matrimonial Purposes’ by Kavita Daswani.. I hope nobody gets a wrong idea about the book because of this fragment of insanity!!!